i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
