I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
