guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
