I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
