My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
