puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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