We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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