PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I don't deserve a penis
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
