Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Too much gin, very little bucket
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
