No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
