I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
