doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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