i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
