I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
