Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
