yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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