My sheets look like a crime scene.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
