You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
