R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
