Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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