You just made me feel so damn special
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
