I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
