In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have fence marks all over my body
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
