what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
