He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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