i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
