I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
