my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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