I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
