On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
