just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
