What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize