Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
