garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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