Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
