know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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