I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
