he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
