to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
