we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
