I want to have your abortion
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
