don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
