So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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