I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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