Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
