dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
