just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
