it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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