happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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