Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
