Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
